Every month

I feel like most of my posts lately have been a little negative, as I've been struggling with the adjustment of leaving everything I know and coming to a place with all new things and all new people. So, I decided I'd write about something a little more upbeat. Over the past year or so, every month, this sweet now husband of mine has gotten me flowers. It was every month, when I'd come to visit, he had flowers for me. I thought that was nice of him, to get for me when I came to visit. However, that thoughtful tradition of his has continued into our 4 months of marriage. I come home and randomly there are flowers on our kitchen table. When I ask him what they are for, "I just thought you deserved some flowers." This rough and rugged farmer of mine is really just a big ol' teddy bear. I'm lucky to have him in my life and very lucky that he puts up with me and all of my quirks.

Side of the Road

Fun fact about me - I get migraines. Okay, it's not really a fun fact, more of an annoyance that I've dealt with since high school. Both my sisters had them, but apparently basically grew out of them after high school. Mine just decided to increase in frequency after high school. Well, after moving across the country, mine decided to really take it up a notch. I was getting one every weekend, like clockwork. I was starting to get really frustrated with this. I tried to chalk it up to all the new stresses that I was putting on myself, but it wasn't helping. The other day, I was driving home from work. I had left at just the right time in order to hit major traffic. I knew I was in it for at least an hour and a half and there wasn't much I could do about it. Then the migraine decided to settle in. I can tell when I'm going to have a bad one. One that will take me out for the day. I didn't have anywhere to go. I was in the middle of traffic, in the rain. I thought to myself, if I get nauseated, I can at least pull off to the side of the freeway, whereas if I'm off the freeway, there really aren't any options for me to pull over as the East doesn't believe in shoulders on the road. I made it to the point where I was exiting the freeway. This meant about another 15-20 minutes before I got home. I kept thinking to myself, "just make it home, just make it home." I didn't make it home. Sadly, I am no stranger to pulling over to the side of the road and puking. This has happened a handful of times in my life. I barely made it off the road, didn't even get my car in park, opened my door and out it came. It was raining and here I was, on the side of the road with half my body hanging out the side of my car. I sat there for a minute and tried to calm down as I was hanging my head in the rain. Then I heard, from across the road, "are you okay?" Ugh....someone had decided to be nice. That's wonderful and all, but I don't like people seeing me in this state. I usually start crying, which I had at this point. All I could do was raise my head, say I was fine and close my door. Then I continued on my way home. I got home about 10 minutes later. My sweet husband knew I had been in the bulk of traffic. He got up to welcome me home and I just held my hand out and said, "I'm going to brush my teeth, I just threw up on the side of the road." And that was my wonderful evening in traffic.

Commuting Part 2

This week, we had a service day for work. We had to be to West Roxbury by 9 am Tuesday. Well, this girl has no idea where towns are and people kept asking me, "are you coming?" "I'm not excited about the drive for me, so I can't even imagine what it's going to be like for you." With that preface, I was really excited about making this drive and having to be there at 9, when I'd be driving in peak traffic. When I mentioned it to Will he said, "You have to go there!? It's south of Boston. It's far." Great, so I guess I'll plan on leaving at 6 am and hope I make it there by 9. I set my alarm for 5:30 that morning. When it went off, I looked and my calendar said, "traffic is heavy, it will take you 1 hour and 27 minutes to get there." This was at 5:30 in the morning!! Ugh....I got ready and decided I needed to leave no later than 7, to give me plenty of time. When I told that to Will he just said, "If only that were plenty of time." Because it takes forever and a day to get anywhere out here. That's what I'm finding.

I made my journey and got there in about an hour and 45 minutes. I was still early, which is better than late for me. I hate being late. I only have one person's number from my team, so I texted her and asked if she could let me know when she got here because I wasn't totally sure I was in the right place. When she arrived, we walked in and we were talking about our commutes. Turns out she lives 12 miles from this place and it took her the same amount of time to get there. 12 miles!!! That's absolutely ridiculous. I guess I shouldn't complain as much as I do. She lives 22 miles from work and it takes her about an hour to an hour and a half to get to work. I live 45 miles away and it takes me an hour and a half. She said it's because she has to go through the city and the city is just always a mess. If I lived 22 miles from work and it was taking me over an hour to get in every day, I don't think I would last. I really don't. Books on tape aside, I think it would still drive me bonkers. I will try not to be so pessimistic about my drive. No promises though, let's be honest, it still sucks.

The Commute

I've mentioned before that I have a horrendous commute to work. Let me paint you a little picture. Last week, on Tuesday, it took me just under two hours to get to work. I left my house just after 7 and didn't get there till 9. Needless to say, I was already drained by the time I got there. The way home is about an hour and a half. So, I spent over 3 hours in the car, every day. I was not impressed. So, today, I'm trying something new. I'm going to do a little work from home this morning and not leave my house until at least 9. If this works better and the commute isn't as terrible, I may need to do this for a while. For my own sanity.

I'm not used to being in the car that much. Nor am I quite used to this working 5 days a week crap. So if I need to adjust my schedule to keep me from being an angry person, I will do that. It's either that or quit my job. Trust me, I've thought about the latter. I don't know that this drive and the stress it is giving me is worth it. I'm trying to be a big girl and tough it out for a few more months, to give it a good try, but I don't know how long I can last. My sweet husband has already told me he's okay if I quit because it's not worth it if I'm miserable. He also leaves at 5:30 in the morning to try and beat the traffic. I now know why. Although, I've tried to leave around that same time, but I have another 20 minutes (on a good day) further than him and I just haven't figured out a good time to leave. I don't get how there are so many people on the roads, at all times of the day. It just doesn't make sense to me. What else does't make sense? That people do this. For years! They make this commute, every day. I don't get it. So, here goes my experiment this week. Who knows, maybe I'll be super productive in the mornings.

Things I Miss

There are many things I miss since moving across the country. Here's a list of some of the things I miss, big and small:

- Quick access to the freeway. It takes me 20 minutes to get to the freeway on my way to work. This 20 minutes is spent on a 2 lane winding highway. Yes, it's pretty, but it takes a long time to get to the freeway. And then there's the traffic.
- Being close to work. I realize this is a stupid thing to miss, but I miss it. In all my working years, thus far in my life, I have been 10 minutes away from work. 20 at the longest. The last 10 years of work, I was a mere 10 minutes from my job. I didn't know how great that was until I moved away and now have an hour commute. Each way. On a good day. I spend 2 hours, sitting in the car, every day. It's starting to get old and it's only been a month. I know, I'm a wuss.
- Sidewalks. I live in the country now. This apparently means there are no sidewalks. There's also poison ivy. In lots of places. I've learned my lesson the hard way, that if I want to go for a walk at night, I need to wear long pants or tall socks, because when you have to move off to the side of the road - so you aren't hit by a car, you may (in my case I did) brush up against some poison ivy. Lesson learned. Don't go for walks.
- Porches. Porches aren't really a thing out here. At least not front porches. I think most people have a small back porch, but front porches, not so much. I miss sitting with my good friend, on her front porch, sitting and talking. It's just one of those weird New England things that I've noticed. No front porches.
- A garbage disposal. I know, it's a weird thing to miss, but I do. I don't even mind the hand washing of dishes. And I think I'd rather have a garbage disposal installed before we replaced a dishwasher. But apparently they aren't good for the septic. So, at least for now, I need to get used to no garbage disposal.
- No shoulders on the side of the road. See above item. Not only are there no sidewalks, but there's basically no shoulder on these roads. Which makes me slightly terrified to take Ruby out for a ride. Yes, it would be great to ride here, out in the country, with all these trees. But with no shoulder on the road, there's greater fear/risk of me getting hit. I'm sure I'll venture out. At some point.
- Having things close to me. Church is far. Stores are far. I can't take a walk down to the post office on a Saturday, if I don't feel like driving. Well, I guess I could. It would just take me at least an hour to get there. See above, no sidewalks.
- Trax/public transportation. I didn't utilize this as much as I could have, but every once in a while I would take trax to and from work. It picked me up and dropped me off just a block from my house. Again, my work was only 10 minutes away, but this allowed me to get some walking in. That's not an option here. I'd have to drive to some bus/train station. I haven't even tried to figure that out yet.
- Coworkers that I knew and joked around with. Maybe that will come with my new job, but I'd known my other coworkers for years. I had a group that I went to lunch with once a month. It was a nice break from work, to get out of the office. There's nothing close to my new office.
- Walking trails near work. There was a park across the street from work that I would sneak away from my desk and take a walk. It was nice to be outside for a few minutes during the day. Now I just feel like I'm locked up inside. I can't even see a window from my desk and it's slightly depressing.
- The ease of a raising desk. Yes, my desk at work raises and I can stand at work. Which is great because sitting all day and then sitting in the car for another 90 minutes to drive home is annoying. I'm afraid my leg muscles are going to atrophy and I'll get bed sores on the back of my legs. I know, I know, that is extreme and I'm moving every day, so that won't happen, but yes, this is the kind of thing I think about. But my desk at work requires a hand crank to raise the desk. It takes me at least a full minute to raise my desk. It took a second before. I could transition from standing to sitting multiple times a day. Now I make a conscious effort as to whether or not I really want to stand. Or, after standing for a few minutes, do I really want to sit right now? (insert eye roll).
- My running routes and running buddies. I had many different running routes mapped out in Utah. I knew the points I needed to turn around at in order to get a specific mileage in for that day. I have one route mapped out here. I know, I need to venture out, but I miss that from home. I also miss the people I would run with. I would run different routes with different people. I miss being able to sign up for races with friends and know I would have someone there with me.
- My family. Probably the biggest thing I miss is my family. They were all close to me. My brother had just moved back the week before I got married. We were all so close! I didn't realize how much time I spent with my family until I moved away and didn't see them every week. Or multiple times a week, which was the case for me. Little things, like birthdays for nieces and nephews. 4 of them had birthdays this past month and I missed them. All of them. I would have stopped by each of their houses and said happy birthday to them. Luckily there's technology that allows us to send messages and videos, but it's not the same. I miss their cute smiles and the excitement when I would come over. I even miss when they weren't so excited to see me.

I know this paints a picture that I'm hating my life out here. I'm not. These are just the things I've been thinking about lately and missing. It's a big adjustment. I've had many life changes all at once and it's a lot to get used to. I'm trying to tell myself that it will take time and that this is normal, but I don't know what's normal. I don't know if how I'm "dealing" with this situation is good or if I'm not "handling" it well at all. For the most part, I'm doing just fine. However, there's about one day a week that I just feel down. Where I miss all these things terribly and it's just a hard day. Today is one of those days.

Changes

I moved from the city to the country life. Moving to the country has some changes that come with it. Let me preface this with the fact that we have chickens and pigs. Well, my husband had chickens and pigs, which means I inherited them. Speaking of those changes....I was startled awake just before 1 this morning by chickens squawking. Will jolted out of bed and immediately left the room and ran downstairs. He had turned on the large spotlight that overlooked the barn. Naturally, I got out of bed and watched from the window, as I had no idea what was happening. I saw him grab a shovel from the barn and hit it against the tractor (to hopefully scare away any animal that may be out there). There's a tree that blocks the view of the chicken coop, so I couldn't see much. I crawled back in bed and just listened. I heard the chickens for a few minutes and then I heard him come back inside. When he came back to bed I asked him what happened. We forgot to close the chickens tonight. They know to go into the coop when it gets dark, but there is a little door to the coop that usually gets locked at night. As well as the door to the coop (they have a little area that they can walk around and not be roaming the yard where hawks can swoop down and get them). Turns out a possum had gotten in and the chickens were scared, hence the noise. Fast forward to this afternoon.I left work a little early and got home just a few minutes before Will. I was resting my eyeballs for a few minutes (remember that awesome middle of the night wake up call). I heard him come home and he came upstairs. "Did you just hear that screaming?" he asked me. I said yes, but I thought it was a neighbor kid running around. Just so you know, his neighbors aren't close and I don't think any of them have small children that would be yelling like they were enjoying a summer afternoon. He handed me his phone and said, "we may have lost a chicken." The picture he was showing me was of a hawk, standing over his prey. This hawk looked pretty pissed that his picture was being taken. Turns out the hawk had gotten a bunny, not a chicken. These are now the things that occur during my days. A little different than just hearing trax run by my house every half hour or hearing my neighbor's dog bark constantly. Farm life.

So....this happened

As I went to resurrect this blog, I realized it's been two years, to the day, since I last posted. Lots has happened since then. I won't try to catch up. Rather, I'll just start again with the new adventures that have begun. I married this guy. He is truly my best friend and I'm lucky I met him last year. We got married in Utah about a month and a half ago. We have since moved to Massachusetts (into his house) and are starting our new adventure as a married couple. There's plenty of adjustment on my end. I left my family and friends and came to a new place where I don't know anyone or anything around me. I have some bad days, but for the most part it's good. I'm now able to get to and from work without using GPS. Which is a big thing for me. I am still, however, trying to get used to my commute. I came from working right near work. I took back roads to work and it took me 10 minutes. 15 on a bad day. My commute is now an hour. On a good day. That is rough for me. I'm not used to being in the car over 2 hours. Every day. I have discovered books on tape and so far, that is helping. Side note: Ready Player One was a great book. Sadly it was 15 hours and it only took me two weeks to get through. Ha! If that gives you any further indication of how much time I spend in my car now. Speaking of work, yes, I did get a job out here. Which, I am grateful for. It is nice to have a job and be getting a paycheck. I still need to figure out what I'm going to be doing with school, if I'm going to try and continue out here. For now, I'm working and trying to get accustomed to traffic. There are many changes that have come into my life all at once. Marriage, moving, a new job, new ward, new people. I'd like to say it's all been sunshine and rainbows, but it hasn't. In fact, as I sit here and type this, it's currently raining outside. See what I did there? I'm funny. In all reality, it's good, but it's an adjustment. I miss my family terribly and the fact that I'm so far away from them. I knew I was close to my family, but moving across the country and not having them a mere 10 miles away has been a rough realization for me. I'm missing out on little things that I would have always attended while in Utah. I used to see my family at least once a week, in some form or another and now it's all about phone calls, texts and FaceTime. Thank you, technology, for letting me remain connected to my family. And it is because of that technology, that I thought I'd try and write on this again. To try and let my family know what's happening in my life and maybe have an outlet in the form of writing, for me.