"It's when things get rough and you don't quit that success comes." - Unknown

Friday, August 12, 2016

Judging

I'm back in school. It's been a long time coming. I haven't been in school for over 10 years. I don't know how to study anymore. I don't know how to use computers in class like my fellow classmates. I'm old school and show up with my notebook and my pen/pencil to take notes. That's what I know. With that preface, I completely judged a fellow student during my last semester, by her cover. We were in the same lecture course and the same lab. I saw her the first day of class. She was very pregnant and my thought was, 'why are you taking this demanding summer course when you are clearly going to give birth in the middle of the semester.' I had told myself I would reach out to someone in my class and try and talk to them. This is a big deal for me, as I am very shy/reserved and initiating contact with a total stranger goes against everything in my being. It terrifies me. To my core. I don't like small talk, so I'm just awkward when I try and do such things. I talked to her the second week. She was very nice, but I judged her. She had tattoos on her arms and wore clothing that I don't wear. As the semester went on, we became more talkative, comparing our thoughts on the class and our struggles with the insanely difficult tests given. She had her baby in the middle of the semester and showed up to lab two days later (because you can't miss lab classes). I was very impressed. She was a strong woman. Turns out, she actually has the same beliefs as me. I don't know where she is with her faith, but she could have been a convert. And I judged her. From the beginning. I was ashamed of myself and the fact that I was so quick to judge, just because of how she looked on the outside. That bothered me. It bothered me because people judge me by the outside. I am quiet and that often comes across as bitchy or unapproachable. I've been told this before. I don't like these stereotypes that I've been assigned, just because of the way I look, but it happens. And I did it. I judged by the cover. I was given a slap by the humility stick and I hope I can learn from that. Everyone has something good to offer and I need to try harder to see those wonderful gifts that people have to offer.