Well, I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy journey and it's almost time to meet this little buddy of ours. As the time draws closer, my anxiety increases. Covid 19 is still a thing. Our state is still on stay at home watch. Everyone is working at home. Masks are being worn when you go out in public. Things are very different than what I had expected having a baby would look like.
I went to my 36 week appointment earlier this week. It was overwhelming to say the least. I am now temperature screened when I arrive at the doctor's office and required to wear a mask for the visit. My husband is no longer allowed to accompany me to the visits. I went to my appointment, gave my urine sample and they took my weight, as usual. Then I sat in the room and they took my vitals and told me to strip from the waist down, so they could do the strep B test. They don't give you a full gown for these procedures, they give you a sheet to cover your nether regions, which doesn't even wrap around your entire body. So, my backside is all on display for them as they walk back in the room. Then they leave you to sit on the uncomfortable table, half naked, for 15-20 minutes until the assistant comes in. I would have rather spent that time, fully clothed, sitting in the waiting room.
The assistant finally came in and she started off by telling me the new developments that have happened surrounding delivery in the time of the coronavirus. I was informed that I will be screened for covid upon arriving at the hospital to deliver. She said 30% of pregnant women are asymptomatic carriers. If I test positive, I will be separated from baby after birth. This means, no first contact for me. No skin to skin bonding time with the child I've carried for 9 months. I won't be able to breastfeed. I will have to pump and my husband will have to do the feedings for the baby. This separation would continue upon discharge from the hospital, for the recommended two weeks. I will have to wear a mask for the duration of labor. I figured this last one was going to be a thing, but was really hoping not. The masks are already uncomfortable, just sitting in the doctor's office, waiting to be seen, I was getting sick of it. I can't imagine what hours of labor are going to be like, with a mask around my face. All of this was overwhelming. She continued to recommend no visitors. Again, I'm fine with no random visitors, but my mom was supposed to come out for two weeks. Since she lives in another state, she would have to self quarantine for 14 days upon arrival. All of this was a lot to take in. I had a breakdown in the doctor's office. I felt bad, but it's a lot to handle and being a first time mom, this is not anything I was prepared to deal with. I left the appointment, got in my car and just continued to cry. We've been very careful about not seeing many people and limiting our time in the public. I'm not necessarily afraid of testing positive, but of course my mind is going to think worst case scenario, so I was not in a good place emotionally.
Since the appointment, I have ordered necessary items to be able to pump and store milk, in the event I'm not able to directly breastfeed my child. I have gotten a few more things ready at the house, in the event he decides to come early. I'm hoping that all goes well, but this is certainly not how I pictured having my first baby would go. I'm just trying to focus on hoping that he's healthy and all goes well with the delivery and we're able to bring him home and remain safe.
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