32 Weeks

Well, I've made it another 2 weeks. We are now 8 weeks away from this little dude arriving. Last weekend was supposed to be my baby shower. It was cancelled, for obvious reasons, but it's still sad to think about the fact I won't be seeing my family before this baby comes. The pandemic continues to sweep the nation. I continue to get stressed out and paranoid about delivering a baby during this time. My emotions are all over the place. It's a combination of trying to get a handle on a new job, being pregnant and this crap going around the world and seeing the stupidity of people all around.

Today is also my grandfather's birthday. I've been thinking about him a lot today. I miss him. I miss his jokes. I miss his smell. I miss him telling me he's old, ornery and disagreeable when I called and asked how he was doing. I miss trying to convince him to let me mow the lawn for him.

I've been at home for a month now. It's been rough. I venture out maybe once a week, for groceries. That's it. I don't interact with people other than my husband (as far as face to face interaction). I've taken this social distancing thing very seriously. Thank goodness for Marco Polo, Zoom, FaceTime and other social networks that allow us to communicate with others. I miss my family. I've lived away from them for nearly 2 years now, you'd think I'd be used to it, but I'm not and this whole pandemic is just making it worse. I'm hoping I'll be able to get back out West in August, but who knows what will end up happening.

I feel like this has been a lot of random thoughts. I think I just needed to get some things out. To try and put a happy spin on my negativity, here are some things I'm grateful for:

• My health and the health of my family
• Technology that allows me to continue to communicate with my family if I can't be with them in person
• The fact that I have a job, even though I don't feel like I know anything or am understanding what I'm doing at this point
• The fact that my husband still has a job and is able to work from home
• We have food to eat
• My relatives in the healthcare field that are doing their part to help with this - even though I am sad/concerned that they are putting themselves at risk by doing so
• All the healthcare workers/first responders, etc. that are working tirelessly to try and combat this
• Teachers, grocery store workers, postal workers that are still doing their jobs and helping our kids learn, allowing us to purchase groceries or delivering packages to our loved ones in these times.
• Sunshine - I went out on a 2.5 mile walk in the sunshine yesterday. It was much needed and I'm glad the sun is making more of an appearance these days. Spring is coming. Hopefully